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2 ( All this gloom was getting too much for Beethoven. He stomped off, intending to go to the barber’s (33: Samuel Barber, 1910—1981); but finding himself out outside a clothes-shop, he looked around furtively and then went in. He went up to the unattended counter. ‘Er — please?’ he asked in a high, embarassed voice. ‘I need some ladies' underwear.' A voice came from the back: ‘what size bra, Ms…’ (34: Johannes Brahms, 1833—1897) The owner of the voice came out into the shop, and stopped dead. ‘Mr. Beethoven!’ he exclaimed. ‘What an honour to have you here — I adore your music!’ Beethoven looked panic-struck. ‘Thank you, thank you,’ he gabbled hurriedly. ‘And of
course I was just joking about the ladies’ underwear — bar-talk, (35: Bela Bartók, 1881—1945) you know, hahaha. What I really want is something from that rack, Man Enough (36: Sergei Rachmaninov, 1873—1943) clothes; oh, and some really stiff gloves — Hinder-Mitts. (37: Paul Hindemith, 1895—1963) For strong men only.’ ‘Nahturallee, sir,’ replied the assistant in his posh voice, trying to impress. ‘And cod I (38: Zoltan Kodály, 1882—1967) help sir with anything else? Perhaps sir is getting marrayed (39: Marin Marais, 1656—1728) and thus was interested in the ladies’ ‘No thank you,’ said Beethoven hurriedly. ‘Maybe you could just send ze items to me?’ ‘Most certainly, sir — what is the address?’ ‘4A (40: Gabriel Fauré, 1845—1924) Brook (41: Max Bruch, 1838—1920) Street. You know, by the brook near (42: Anton Bruckner, 1824—1896) here. And mind that your man doesn’t tip it (43: Michael Tippett, 1905—1998) over the bridge (44: Frank Bridge, 1879—1941) before he gets it to me, hahaha.’ And with that, Beethoven was gone…
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