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_} 2 ( Beethoven left the shop with the cage, and the dog trotting at his heels; he consulted his list (16: Franz Liszt, 1811—1886) and went into a cobbler’s. ‘Are you the shoe-man?’ (17: Robert Schumann, 1810—1856) he asked the man at the counter. The man didn’t reply, but instead called into the back of the shop,‘someone about his shoe, Bert!’ (18: Franz Schubert, 1797—1828) Bert came hurrying out. ‘How can I help you, sir?’ he asked. ‘It’s my laces — they’re all ravelled,’ (19: Maurice Ravel, 1875—1937) said Beethoven sadly ‘what a mess I in!' (20: Olivier Messiaen, 1908—1992) Bert tactfully ignored his client’s bad English, and looked at the laces. ‘You’re going to have to use the most art (21: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, 1756—1791) you have,’ said Beethoven. ‘Hmm…’ mused Bert, ‘I think I'll have to ask my assistant. Where's he hid'n? (22: Franz Josef Haydn, 1732—1809) Honestly,’ he confided in Beethoven,‘it’s impossible to get good service these days. ‘E’s probably out shoppin’ (23: Frederic Chopin, 1810—1849) for his scarlet tea (24: Domenico Scarlatti 1685—1757; or Alessandro, 1660—1725) or something weird like that. I told him never to do that ; you can tell a man (25: Georg Philipp Telemann, 1681—1767) something till you're blue in the face — it won't help you.’ Beethoven sympathised. ‘Ver de (26: Giuseppe Verdi, 1813—1901) blazes is the man?’ he asked. ‘These people — zey have no sense of duty-ugh!’ (27: Henri Dutilleux, 1916—) Just then, the assistant came running in. ‘Sorry,’ he gasped. ‘You’re a block (28: Ernest Bloch, 1880—1959)-head, that’s what you are,’ thundered Bert. He turned back to Beethoven. ‘I’m not really a cobbler, anyway; I’d rather be a lumberjack — or a purse-seller (29: Henry Purcell, 1659—1695), but there’s no money in it,’ he moaned. ‘To be frank, (30: César Franck, 1822—1890) my boys have stolen all my money — that they borrowed in (31: Alexander Borodin, 1833-1887) trust; my saint sons,(32: Camille Saint-Saëns, 1835—1921) I call them. Humph.’
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